VOCATUS ATQUE NON VOCATUS, DEUS ADERIT

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Keeping Promises

Dear Malady and Purl,

Recently I have found myself in a lot of trouble at home and at work. It's because I haven't kept promises to certain key people in my life.

My not coming through hasn't been intentional at all. In fact, I'm meticulous about writing things down and sorting out their respective priorities later.

Of course, one of my problems is that I have a lot to do. I tend to work slowly and carefully, so I often find my tasks piling up. Another problem I have is giving people false hope by promising to have things done by certain deadlines.

As I fall behind on my tasks, I have a tendency to put off the people who I care the most about and/or have the biggest investment in. I also look for simple efficiencies as I do my work. Often I find clear-headedness in getting ten unimportant tasks done at the expense of one important chore for someone who matters a great deal to me.

As a result, some of the relationships I care most about have suffered. I've lost much of the trust I once had in these people because I haven't come through on things I have promised. Right now, I feel inadequate and inauthentic in those relationships.

If you ask me about my own faith, I'll tell you that I derive much of it from the relationships I have with certain people. The people who I have failed. I'm wondering if you've ever found yourself in a similar situation, and if so, what you did to get yourself on track again. I would be grateful for any suggestions you might have to help me.

Gary

2 comments:

Amy M. said...

I think many of us have a tendency to get overextended and overcommitted. It's easy to do these days. I have found myself stretched so thin these days that I don't feel I'm really giving as much as I need to to anyone or anything. I have had to get serious about prioritizing in my life and realizing that sometimes I just need to say no. This year, I will be giving up a few of my long-standing commitments. At least for now. I'm trying to pick those things that are most important and making that my focus. And giving myself the time that I need to develop my own potential and interests.

-Amy

Gary said...

Amy, I think you just hit on something for me. Like you said, we have to take the time to go through all of our stuff and prioritize what's most important. It's so easy to simply hit the ground running every day and not take the time to reflect on what matters most. I'm glad to hear that you're doing some of this work for yourself. You just inspired me!

Gary