Forgiveness

Dear Malady and Purl,
I've finished the third book in Mere Christianity. I would like to go back and talk a little about the chapter on forgiveness. There is a paragraph (p. 119 in my book) that I found quite powerful:

"I have often thought to myself how it would have been if, when I served in the First World War, I and some young German had killed each other simultaneously and found ourselves together a moment after death. I cannot imagine either of us would have felt any resentment or even any embarrassment. I think we might have laughed over it."

Lewis talks a lot in this chapter about "loving thy neighbor" and, for the first time, I think I understand the significance separating a dishonorable action from the person who committed it. When I reflected upon Lewis's example, I thought of something that I had once done. It wasn't a single event, but instead a series of instances that had taken place over time.

It began when I told someone something that was going to really hurt that person. And it did. I wasn't prepared to say it, but I thought it the best thing to do at the time. I'm not sure I even knew then that what I said was going to be harmful. I had opted for honesty, not necessarily because I value honesty, but (for better or for worse) because that quality is an instinctual part of me.

My ignorance and inexperience lead me to repeat this thing to other people I cared about. In the end, things seemed to turn out mostly OK, but my actions inevitably colored my relationships with everyone involved. All of these these people are important to me and I have already spent a lot of time trying to make things right with each of them. Reading this chapter made me realize again that cultivating my sensitivity toward other people's feelings is paramount to the life I'm here to live.

But I find some solace in what Lewis has to say. I positively hate how I handled that situation, but I know in my heart that I was doing the best I could as I blundered. I was drawing from my own history, experience, and what I knew. I take even more solace in knowing that all of us gain wisdom through suffering. These are what give me hope that one day we'll be laughing over it.

-Gary