VOCATUS ATQUE NON VOCATUS, DEUS ADERIT

Monday, February 25, 2008

Life's Best Moments

Amy, you covered so much ground in your last post that I, too, I had thought about and went over. I'm not sure now where to start except to share with you how I've experienced Jazz on a personal level.

One thing I've noticed as I read the book is that I often roll my eyes and mutter to myself, "Oh, please..." When I initially read about Laura's struggle with God and faith, I wasn't very generous or forgiving. I unconsciously told Laura to get over herself and for Don to stop indulging Laura. I couldn't stand reading certain sections and because I thought all of it was over the top.

But that was yesterday and this is today. As I write this, I am thinking about about how messy my own life is. It takes a lot of courage to decide to make yourself vulnerable and expose thoughts and feelings that you might later regret, even years afterward. There have been many times when I've done similar things and I hope that the people who saw and/or heard what I did will cut me some slack (preferably a LOT of slack).

The fact is that I'm uncomfortable with exposing myself and I'm uncomfortable with others doing the same. I seek to live on an even keel because it's easier and there's less crap to deal with.

So, I wonder why those times come up when I feel compelled to open up and say or do something that seems completely irrational and with little chance of any payoff? The reason I do it is because those are the times in which I see an opportunity to become closer to a person. We all have relationships in which we know people, but yet we don't really know them. If we're lucky, we might encounter a few people who we truly get to know. Those are the ones we might love, crap and all.

I know I would love to get a note like the one Laura gave to Don at the end of chapter five. Those are the moments in which our souls grow. Those are the times in which we feel most alive.

2 comments:

Amy M. said...

I understand what you are saying about that part with Laura. Sometimes, things like that can sound a little overwrought and inauthentic. It's still interesting, though, how different people struggle with belief. Or lack of belief.

Gary said...

It is definitely interesting to see how people deal with belief. I've really enjoyed reading and discussing this book as a group.

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