VOCATUS ATQUE NON VOCATUS, DEUS ADERIT

Friday, May 11, 2007

Some Reflections

Dear Malady,

I’m putting my book down for a moment because I want to reflect on your last post. I’m interested in knowing more about how you feel like you’ve grown spiritually? Are there been specific moments or events you can share with me? When we first started this blog, I was anxious about discussing spiritual issues in the ways you and I have now begun to explore. But now, I feel perfectly fine with these discussions.

Now I’m at a point at which I’m asking myself, “What’s next?” I am still not sure what I want from a spiritual life, except that I want to somehow experience life more fully; being aware of every moment of each day, having an open heart for everyone I encounter, being more sure of myself, making decisions with clarity and confidence, and being more joyful. What do you want out of your spiritual life?

I’m intrigued by what you said about people turning to religion simply for comfort. In my own experience, I have mostly found that to be true, too. It troubles me to think that people so often do things to do little more than support or solidify what they already believe. At a minimum, there’s something really dull about that. To resist changing and challenging yourself and what you believe does something to insulate you from the world that is crashing around you. It really limits your experience.

What astounds me the most is when I talk to people who have traveled widely and I discover how limited their experiences often are. They come back from a trip and talk about all the places, people, and things they saw, but their thinking and approach to life doesn’t seem to have changed much. As I remember reading in Paul Theroux’s The Old Patagonian Express, “Travel is pointless unless you intend to change.”

Whether they have traveled or not, I’ve found it hard to find people who integrate their experiences into the growth of their own souls, or whatever they identify as that core part of ourselves that makes us human beings. To me, not sharing (or worse, not even contemplating) that part of your life makes for a lonely and ignorant one—a life that’s little more than a lot of discordant clatter and motion.
You had presented Lewis’s point that religion should start from a place of ‘discomfort and fear.’ The above pretty much describes how I understand his point and what you had discussed in your last post. More thoughts? Vituperation?

-Gary

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

A Purpose-Driven Life

Dear Gary--

I think you are absolutely correct in thinking that meaning and purpose should be central points of exploration in a Christian life. Even Socrates said that "the unexamined life is not worth living." And by extension of that, I would say that the unexamined Christian life and faith are not worth pursuing.

I think when you are brought up as a Christian, you tend to get complacent in your faith life. People often quit putting a lot of effort in study and growth. And I think this causes tremendous problems when these Christians are confronted with different ideas and ways of thinking. It can be frightening because it feels as if the bedrock of your faith is being attacked and damaged. I think God wants us to ask questions. That is how we learn. We shouldn't take anything, least of all faith, simply at face value. Or because someone has told us we should. That is why I love discussing faith issues with people who think differently than I do. It challenges me to really think about what I believe.

Part of the appeal of Lewis for me is the fact that he takes a very intellectual approach to Christianity. Since he was originally an atheist, I find his thought processes fascinating. What did it take to get an atheist intellectual like Lewis to become a Christian?

I have finally finished Part One of MERE CHRISTIANITY and I love the whole discussion of the Moral Law and the "mind" behind it. His examples are wonderful. I think one of the biggest stumbling blocks for non-believers is the fact that God cannot be PROVEN. And I understand that frustration. It would be nice if science could find incontrovertible truth about the existence of God and then we could all stop arguing about it. But faith doesn't work that way. And if God is the Prime Mover and Creator, it doesn't seem likely we can prove His existence through our conventional means.

I also like how Lewis concludes this section with the fact that religion starts from a place of discomfort and fear. I think many people just turn to religion for comfort. But Lewis has a good point about the problems with the approach. We have to do the work. We have to explore and think and realize and all the other stages of mature spiritual growth. And it can be hard and frustrating and scary and uncomfortable. But, in my experience, that is true of most things worth having.

-Malady

P.S. There is a recent book called the PURPOSE-DRIVEN LIFE that might be worth exploring at a later date. We'll talk more about it later.

Monday, April 30, 2007

Peace, Love, Happiness, ...And Having A Purpose

Dear Malady,
Your last post gave me a much clearer picture of what God means to you in your own life. I think I share with you the feeling that God is not really a separate part of your being. The description of your nightmare is marvelous; I can feel the closeness you shared with those in the first part of your dream. "Peace and love and happiness" - it seems that you and I want the same things!

I like how you describe hell as being an absence of God. Your wandering around alone on the street is truly frightening. For me, those times of "hell" are those in which I feel purposelessness and ennui. As you describe your own relationship with God, I am beginning to see that I see my relationship with Him manifests itself in my feelings and that He is not really separate from me. But my feelings are so inconsistent and unreliable that I'm not sure this can really be true.

What I hope to find during the course of my life is peace. That's all I want. When I feel peace, I perceive it as something divine, but not separate from me. But at the end of my life, I hope to encounter someone who will take me in and give meaning to all the things I've struggled with during the course of my life. You talked about having a reunion with God - can you tell me more about what that looks like to you?

Thank you for helping me sort out my "belief and heaven" dilemma. That God is love and that He will take care of it somehow is all I need to know.

I liked The Last Temptation of Christ for similar reasons as yours. Watching this movie was the first time I had felt real resonance with Christ's sacrifice. And I felt so because the film concentrated so much on His humanness. I find it fascinating how his post-cross human life dulled him, made him timid, and put him into a kind of sleep. You had mentioned how Judas is widely misunderstood - I had shared in that misunderstanding until I saw this movie. I had believed Judas had sold Jesus out, but now it's clear to me that Judas's purpose was to remind Jesus of His own purpose (or to be His conscience, as you explained).

How Jesus interpreted His life brings up a difficulty I have when I talk to people who call themselves Christians. What is most profound to me about Jesus that He had a purpose, or a mission. I find that what that mission was - that He died for our sins - less important than the simple fact that He had a purpose for living. That purpose moved Him so powerfully that He dedicated His entire life to it.

I find it interesting (and a little troubling) that so many people don't put much thought into what the purpose of their lives are. To me, exploring this question should be central to a Christian life. I see Christ's sacrifice not as a letting us off the hook, but instead as a challenge to pony up and explore the meaning in our own lives. Perhaps we don't have to die for our purpose as Christ did, but I fully expect God to ask me some pretty pointed questions on this subject. I have a feeling that He'll be fine if I don't have an answer, but that He will be concerned if I hadn't considered it much. Kind of like not studying for an exam, but a lot more serious. What do you think about this?

-Gary

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Christian Concepts

Dear Gary--

We are getting into some really meaty stuff here.

1) First of all, let me address the concept of heaven. We don't really know what "heaven" or "the afterlife" is really going to be like. And I'm not sure I really believe in the concept of "hell." I once had a vivid nightmare that went something like this:

I was sitting on a very large bed with a group of people and we were praying together and singing songs and worshipping. It was wonderful. I felt such peace and love and happiness. And I knew that came out of my relationship with God and my fellow Christians. Then, the scene changed. The other Christians disappeared and I was wandering the streets alone. I tried to find other Christians and talk to people about God but no one understood what I was talking about. There was a complete lack of God in my surroundings. I felt such despair. I had lost that love and peace and couldn't get it back. That is when I realized that I had died and I was in hell. My "hell" was the complete lack of God. There was no fire. There were no demons. Just me. Alone.

Now, I don't know if that is what the afterlife will be like. But my hunch is that "heaven" simply means a reunion with God. After death, when we are released from our corporeal being, there will be no more barriers to our union with God and with each other. How wonderful that would be!

2) I have a hard time with the concept of Satan. I'm not sure I really believe in the existence of Satan. I think Lewis believed in Satan. You'll understand this more if you go on to read THE SCREWTAPE LETTERS. But maybe Satan is just another way of describing those parts of us that keep us from God. I don't know.

3) Your concern about belief and heaven makes me think of the age-old argument about what happens to people who don't know anything about God or Christianity. For example, what happens to indigenous peoples in parts of the world that have never been exposed to the Western concept of God? Is it fair to think that they will go to "hell" simply because they have no knowledge of God? I don't think so. A classmate of mine in college asked his pastor father the same question. His father told him, "Son, I don't know the answer to that question. But I DO know God and God is love." I think God has a way of sorting all of this out. But we should take advantage of the knowledge that we DO have.

4) Why do I love LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST so much? When I saw the film, it was truly a revelation for me. When the movie first came out, many people told me that it was the work of the devil. I heard crazy things like "Jesus has sex with Mary Magdalene on the cross!" What?!!! I was actually SCARED to see the movie. Then, in college, my pastor had a screening at the chapel. It became clear to me that none of the people who warned me about the film had actually SEEN it.

The film (and the book) reveal the human side of Jesus. If any god were omnipotent and "died" for us, it wouldn't seem to be *that* big of a deal. I mean, how much of a sacrifice is it if the god in questions feels no pain and dying is no big thing. But what if the deity can feel things like rage and fear and pain? Because He is part human? That's a whole different story. The film also brings out the fact that Judas may be the most misunderstand individual in the Bible. If he had not followed through with his mission, where would we all be? In the movie, Judas is Jesus' conscience. He makes sure that Jesus fufills his duty on earth. And because he loves Jesus, that duty is especially painful. This movie/book imagines the "last" temptation as a chance for Jesus to live a normal life. He can get off the cross instead of a being a sacrifice for humankind. And He is tempted to do so. After all, He is human as well as divine. But Judas helps Him to see that He must complete His journey to the cross to save all of us. And that is a very powerful thing. It's a real sacrifice. But when Jesus says "it is accomplished," our relationship with God takes on a whole new meaning. The slate is wiped clean and we are blessed with grace. The ultimate sacrifice has been made.

-Malady

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Last Temptation

Dear Malady,
I like the Pascal chart. The "God exists/Ungodly life" intersection brings up something that intrigued me about The Last Temptation of Christ. It is this: Does God expect you to believe in Him in order to go to heaven?

I'm pretty sure Jesus didn't quit believing in God and that God was His father, but during the period Satan had duped Jesus and gave Him a human life after the attempted crucifixion, Jesus seemed to have given up on Himself and His purpose. What if Judas had never found and made clear to Jesus that Satan had tricked Him? Would Jesus have still gone to heaven?

I'm wondering about believing as a requirement to go to heaven because what if Satan took an otherwise good person and made God invisible to him/her their whole life? Why wouldn't God try harder to make Himself known and to show that person that he/she has a purpose for living?

I'm trying to determine to what extent the responsibility is mine to seek Him out. It seems that God would have to throw a person some kind of carrot so his/her interest is at least piqued. But if He never throws the carrot (or Satan successfully hides the carrot from a person for his/her entire life), should that person be disallowed from going to heaven? I'm struggling with this idea right now, but I'll keep sorting it out. In the meantime, any carrots you can throw my way so I can better understand this dilemma would be appreciated!

You discussed grace in the "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God" post. I find a great deal of comfort in that explanation and it makes me believe that God would give me a break if I couldn't find a reason to believe in Him. I found Jesus's romantic love for a prostitute to be a profound combination of grace and humanity. I have always subscribed to the idea that one cannot help who one falls in love with (or just loves) and I thought it was pretty courageous to pursue that relationship so openly in Temptation. And that Jesus challenged social propriety and defended Mary in front of others showed that He was the stand-up kind of guy we should all aspire to be.

A last point about the movie, what you've talked about, and what I've run into in the second book of Mere Christianity: I'm not sure Satan was obviously evil in The Last Temptation of Christ. This is an idea that I first encountered in John Milton's Paradise Lost (which I would like to add to our reading list) and it has rocked my world ever since.

Satan was clearly a bad egg in that he lead Jesus astray for many, many years after the crucifixion. Getting married, having children and a home was not what God had intended for Jesus - I understand that. But Satan allowed Jesus to experience a kind of human happiness that, I think, helped him to better understand what humans need in their lives to want to get out of bed each morning and march on. This seems to support Lewis's explanation of the Christian view that everything has its origins in Good - including Satan. I'm interested to know how you think about this issue.

Jesus's expression of joy on the cross at the very end of the movie left me unsure of what to ultimately think, however. Is the purpose of living to grow the soul or pursue happiness? I think the best-lived lives are those that combine both. But why does it remind me so much of your "walking the tightrope" image...?

Pascal's Wager

Dear Gary,

I know you haven't had time to respond to my last post but I thought of this today and wanted to share it with you.

I minored in Philosophy in college and some of the "big questions" of philosophy have to do with God and the meaning of life. Blaise Pascal came up with a wager that described how he began to believe in God. It goes something like this.

Draw a chart on a piece of paper with four boxes (two on top and two below). At the top of the chart, write "God exists" and "God Doesn't Exist" over each box. At the side, write "Godly Life" and "Ungodly Life" beside each box. Okay, now we are going to fill in the boxes.

Write "-1" in the box where "God Doesn't Exist" and "Godly Life" intersect. If you have followed all the "rules" and lived a good life and then, after death, you discover that God doesn't exist, that nets you a -1 because you could have been doing whatever the heck you wanted but you led a Godly life instead. A waste of time.

Write "+1" in the box where "God Doesn't Exist" and "Ungodly Life" intersect. If you have lived your life however you want to and then it turns out that there is no God, well you have netted +1. You have gotten to do whatever you want. Hooray for you.

Write "- (minus) infinity" in the box where "God Exists" and "Ungodly Life" intersect. Let's say you spent your life doing whatever you want and not believing in God and then it turns out that there IS a God after all. Oops. Not a good outcome.

Write "+ infinity" in the box where "God Exists" and "Godly Life" intersect. What if you have believed in God and done your very best to live a godly life? And then it turns out that there IS a God. Well, as my college professor put it, "you have won the cosmic lottery!"

So, if we compare the different outcomes, we see that the best you can do while NOT believing in God is a "+1." The best you can do with BELIEVING in God is "+ infinity." And then look at the WORST you can do in each case. Pascal points out that you are better off believing because the worst that can happen is a "-1."

This is a pretty logical, unemotional and simplified way to look at things but I always enjoyed the idea of it.

-Malady

Friday, April 20, 2007

Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God

Dear Gary,

This is a tough one. I haven't gotten that far in the book yet but I'll try to address your question. We are starting to get into the idea of "sin" and God's role in "sin." I think a lot of people don' t like the idea of God looking down from heaven and judging everything that they do. God was very present in the Old Testament. He spent a lot of time getting mad at people and meting out punishment. In the New Testament, that visible and personal relationship disappears. We are just left with grace.

You and I discussed the concept of grace offline. I told you about my favorite interpretation of grace. It goes like this:

"You go to school for the first time and you are feeling really nervous and inadequate. It almost seems like a sham that you are even in the classroom because you feel like you don't measure up and you'll never be able to keep up with the others. Then, the teacher comes in, looks at you and the others and says, "I'm giving you all an "A". Now, just do your best."

God is very much a father-figure for humankind. (or a mother-figure if you prefer) We are all God's children and He wants the very best for us. But God decided to give us free will. Like children, we have to make mistakes and try to learn from them. And that can be frustrating for everyone. Including God, I would imagine. We aren't perfect beings. We are going to make mistakes. But as long as we try our best, we're okay. That is the gift of grace. God gave us a model for behavior in Jesus. WWJD (what would Jesus do?) is kind of a trite guideline but it is still pretty useful. I use it myself quite often. The reason God doesn't make grand appearances anymore like He did in the Old Testament is because of Jesus. Jesus was both human and God. He gave God a firsthand look at what it means to be human. And Jesus was sacrificed for our sins. He gave us the gift of grace. So, now we turn inwards for our relationship with God. We trust in that relationship through faith alone. And we simply try our best.

Hope that helps a little bit. It's a very complicated issue.

I recommended the movie "The Last Temptation of Christ" to you recently. What did you think of it?

-Malady